Are stay at home moms a threat?

Mother and Child
My own father (I was raised by my mother and step-father)seems to think so. I'm not sure why it makes him so angry that I stay home, but it sure does. He told my husband that he should "make me" get a full time job and my staying home should not even be an option. After all, as he says, the kids aren't babies any more and they don't need me. He told me that I should quit being a lazy, pampered princess and how dare I make my husband be the sole provider. Yeah, I just lay around the house all day eating bon-bons... Sorry, a little sarcasm there.

I thought that feminism was supposed to be all about choice. Why is it that the traditional (and God given) role of women across the generations and across cultures is suddenly bad and lazy especially if they have older children or don't have children? Why is it that the only way that women can be seen as "real" women is by having a high powered, high paying career? It's hard enough to hear this in the media, but it's even worse to hear it from my own father. The valuable work that a stay at home wife and mother does is seen by him (and many others unfortunately) as worse than the most humble minimum wage job. I guess he thinks I should just pay for after school care provided by college students where the kids stay in the school cafeteria until 6:00pm and swing by McDonald's every night on our way home. That doesn't sound like the recipe for a happy life to me.

Here's some of what feminist Linda Hirshman has to say about it

The family -- with its repetitious, socially invisible, physical tasks -- is a necessary part of life, but it allows fewer opportunities for full human flourishing than public spheres like the market or the government. This less-flourishing sphere is not the natural or moral responsibility only of women. Therefore, assigning it to women is unjust. Women assigning it to themselves is equally unjust. To paraphrase, as Mark Twain said, “A man who chooses not to read is just as ignorant as a man who cannot read.”

Yes, keeping house and raising children can be repetitious, but so can a job. Every job I've ever had had plenty of repetition and boring tasks. I would much rather put that time and energy into my home and family than into a career outside the home. My family means so much more to me than any job possibly could.

She also says this:

Women who want to have sex and children with men as well as good work in interesting jobs where they may occasionally wield real social power need guidance, and they need it early. Step one is simply to begin talking about flourishing. In so doing, feminism will be returning to its early, judgmental roots. This may anger some, but it should sound the alarm before the next generation winds up in the same situation. Next, feminists will have to start offering young women not choices and not utopian dreams but solutions they can enact on their own. Prying women out of their traditional roles is not going to be easy. It will require rules -- rules like those in the widely derided book The Rules, which was never about dating but about behavior modification.

emphasis mine
So it's really NOT about choices is it? It's about conforming to their standards.

This article quotes feminist Leslie Bennetts:

"Many women romanticize the stay-at-home life, but most don't realize the consequences," says Bennetts. "The reality is that to give up your career and depend on someone else to support you is a very high-stakes gamble -- for women AND their children."

A high-stakes gamble? Consequences? She makes staying at home sound like jumping off a bridge.


I honestly think my father would rather tell his friends that I have some sort of addiction or STD than that I'm a housewife (if he could even bring himself to use that word). I'm sure it is embarrassing to him that his daughter doesn't "do anything", especially since his step-daughters have PhDs and nannys.

The good thing in all this is that it makes me appreciate my husband even more for being such a strong man and good provider. It also makes me cling to my savior and remember that I am serving Him, not the world and not myself. Sometimes it takes someone's judgement and criticism to make me rethink why I do what I do. I'm more sure than ever that home is where I belong.


That they may teach the young
women to be sober,
to love their husbands,
to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste,
keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4,5